Moving On

People usually say this (quote). If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.

I know it's easy to say but when it comes to reality, its not as easy as we thought of, especially your fisrt love.
That kind of feeling is extreme awful, like tears will drop off automatically whenever you're alone.
And could barely sleep eventhough you feel exhausted and tired.
The worse part is you can't really cry it out just because you don't really want your parents, siblings or friends to worry about you.

When you lost the one you really love, and the reason not because he/she betray you, how would you feel?
For me, the feeling is like the a bullet has been shot straight throught your heart.
Now then i realise why people commit suicide. Can't deny that commit suicide ever appeared in my thought but when calm down myself and think about people who love you, it will automatically shut it off.

Well, i am a typical scorpio, i don't really share and i don't really know how to share my feeling to others. Sometimes i feel like sharing with a person but yet i don't really know how to start the conversation and i don't really want my friend to worry about me.

it has been few days i didn't really sleep, eventhough i sleep, it was like sleep awhile and then will wake up automatically. it so called insomnia i guess.
i've no idea how many pain-killer i have swallowed.
and now.. yeah i can't sleep again, so i decide to drink some beer and blog instead of pain-killer. (blood-circulation)

I know i should have moving on, so i have deleted all the pictures in my phone and computer.
Removing all the mementos, it doesnt sound fun i know but it is essential.
Moving on is all about living in the future, not the past. Remove doesn't mean destroy i think, at least i have it all and store in my heart.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This is a better quote to live by in love that i've learned.

And now i believe that all i need to time to get this wound heal.